Weight issues

Okay so it seems that whenever I have a ton to post I always get behind but when I nothing or little to talk about I end up posting a lot more.  Go figure.  I have so much to catch up on with the kids, family, etc.  but I will get to that later.  So today you get a random posting.  How many of you are Biggest Loser fans?  Okay Nate and me are diehards!!! There is just something about that show that continues to draw us in.  It is so awesome to watch people make such a huge change in their lives for the better.  I guess sometimes I feel like I connect with them more because I have always struggled with my weight.  Growing up with two beautiful, skinny older sisters gave me a complex that I still have a hard time overcoming.  I have always felt like I live my life in their shadows.  Unlike them, I was taller, bigger, and stayed in that awkward kid stage just a little longer than I would have liked.  No matter what I tried, I never could get to that point where I could just accept what was given to me and deal with it.  I have had weight issues my entire life, looking back at some of my childhood pictures I see a girl who was very lost and sad (mostly for reasons other than her weight).  My self-esteem has never really been in the positive but having my children has allowed me to see the bigger picture.  For some reason, even though I have struggled with weight issues, when I was pregnant it didn't really matter. Not that I gained a ton with each pregnancy in fact most times I barely gained the recommended amount but it was always on top of the last five pounds from the previous pregnancy.  After I had my children I knew that in order to be a better mom to my kids I had to become happy.  It's sad that so much of my happiness depends on my weight.  But it wasn't just the weight, I needed to get better for my health physically but more important mentally.  My self-esteem has always been in the negative so it has been a huge struggle to try to overcome that.  I have lost some of the weight and even weigh less than I did in high school but yet mentally it isn't clicking yet.  Why is it that we as women in general find our worth so wrapped up in our weight, etc?  Being called into the Young Womens has helped me to see the struggles that young girls today are faced with.  It has helped me to try to become more accepting of myself.  Having a little girl has changed my perspective more than anything.  I would never want Brynlei to feel like less than beautiful girl that she is.  I know as a mother, I have a lot of growing and learning to do but I made a commitment to myself to never give her(or any of my children) reason to think that they aren't worth anything or even just to have that feeling of worthlessness.  So back to the show, I find the ability these people have to change their lives (physically and mentally) so amazing because you know that this has been a lifelong struggle for them.  I always think, "If they can do it, then maybe so can I."  What I really need is Jillian to come and kick my butt into gear (even though I would probably die in the process)!!  I am sorry for the rambling on but I just felt like getting that off my chest.  Now that it is out there maybe the change I need will come.   I hope that I can let go of that lost girl of my past and embrace what my true worth is someday soon.  And I promise to post all the happenings that have been going on soon.

The magic of childhood.  It seems that these days more kids are losing the magic that makes childhood so special but I am thankful that from time to time I am able to capture my children experiencing this special part of being a child. 

 That Peyton was able to have the time of his life at Disneyland and bond with his Grandma and Grandpa Graff.  

To my parents for making those special memories that my children will always remember. 

Watching my children miss their brother so much while he was away and then being so excited to see him come home.  (It makes all those times of sibling rivalries seem insignificant.) Also knowing that our family just doesn't feel right when one of us is gone. :)

Capturing ladybugs. 

That Summer is almost here.

Invention Convention

Last Wednesday (22nd) Karter had another pack meeting.  The theme was Invention Convention.  At the last pack meeting in March they were given cans full of different items and told to invent something for the next months pack meeting using only what was in the can (you could also use the can).  Well Karter invented a rain catcher.  It was pretty cool, he even made tools using some of the items put together.  He was pretty excited to show it off.  He really enjoys being a part of scouts.  Good job Karter!

and he's off......

Peyton is off to Disneyland with Grandma and Grandpa Graff and his cousin Kamri.  Each year they take two of the grandkids that are 5, Peyton was the next in line and even though he isn't quite 5 yet he got to go.  He has been counting down since Brekken went last year.  Last night he slept over at Grandma and Grandpa's house so that they could all leave super early this morning.  He seriously could not contain his excitement (it was better than Christmas morning!) I can't wait to hear from him and hear about all the adventures.  They get to stay in the Disneyland Hotel and enjoy being absolutely spoiled by Grandma and Grandpa Graff for three whole days & nights at Disneyland!!! We already miss him but know that he deserves all the fun he gets to have and can't wait to see him late Wednesday night

Sunshine!!

Tball/Baseball season!

Getting summer projects organized.

Young Womens!

Being outdoors.

Doing yardwork.

Flowers!

Painting/redecorating.

Family time!

Movies, games, etc.

Snow cones!

Hurley

Since our other dogs have been gone for over a month I think our family has gone through a little withdrawal.  We were hoping to find a smaller dog that the kids would be able to help with more.  We have always wanted a miniature pinscher but didn't want to pay a huge amount for one.  Well, last Tuesday Nate called me from work and said that he had found one!! Apparently our neighbor's friend lost her job and had to move to a place that didn't accept pets so they took in her miniature pinscher.  Well they already had another dog and the two didn't get along that well, so he heard that we were looking for a smaller dog and asked to see if we wanted to keep it.  Well, of course we said yes (especially since he is already housetrained, is purebred, has a microchip, and is really good with the kids!)  We couldn't believe our luck!! The kids named him Hurley and we are having so much fun with him.  

Saturday we went to the Kite Festival to get the kids their free kites and then we took Hurley up to Hidden Valley Park to fly the kites!! It was fun being able to take him with us!! The kids have enjoyed each taking turns caring for him!! They absolutely love him to death!!! 

Brynlei loves to hold him!!  She loves it best when he sits in her lap!

Time spent with family over Easter!

Easter and the true meaning of it!

Nate's understanding of my feelings, thoughts, and views on certain things.  

Being able to stay at home with my children.  We sacrifice a lot to be able to have me do it but I wouldn't change it for the world!

Our new puppy (pics to come later).

Helping others out.

The ability to change.

All the kids' activities, it gets really hectic but I love everything about it!

Being able to learn new skills.